The jumbled way home

Friday, 2nd December, 2011

Urshla and I planned to spend more time together, by visiting a wild life reserve or some other place nearby PMB. It was my last day in South Africa and the time left was very precious.
I packed my belongings at Jason's and had breakfast with them. We said our goodbyes. I couldn't express to them enough how grateful I was for their hospitality. We promised to keep in touch because I'd come to know them as a very gracious Christian family. God showed me that He works in His people, where ever His Word lives in their hearts.
Their daughter Lisa had given up her room for me, even though I came in late most nights and was not a big part of the life of the family. The Jason's made me feel very welcome and were interested in me, as I was in them. Both Hugh and Helene are wonderful hosts, knowing how to use their home for the care and comfort of others.

Hilltop Office girls

From Jason's, we called into the Hilltop office to meet Mandy Wolfaard and farewell the girls we met earlier in the week. From there, we made a trip to the mall for a cup of coffee.
One of Urshla's items on her Christian Cafe profile was a statement of where she would like to go for a first meeting with a man. It was something we wanted to do, as a fun milestone because it was part of how we met.
At Mug and Bean, we had our coffee and ticked the item off Urshla's list of accomplishments, even though it wasn't our first meeting. We chatted happily and she showed me a restaurant operated by a nephew and the success it was enjoying.

After coffee, Urshla stopped and had friendly words with people she knew, and there were quite a few. She bought food items, while I went to a hardware for a hand tool and glue.

Urshla wanted to buy Clara and Sandy a gift while at the mall. I helped her to choose African beads for my girls, although Urshla knew instinctively about the tastes of young women.
She looked around for some gift wrapping for the beads and Sue's plate, but she wasn't satisfied with the stock available in the store. She said we would call into another store that had what she was looking for. After that, we returned home.

Ciorstaidh

In the meantime, Kelly rang to say he was dropping his boys off at his mother's, and could Urshla meet them at the mall carpark to pick up Shan? They didn't want to expose Ciorstaidh to mall bacteria at such a young age. Shan didn't want to go her to mother-in-law's and asked if she could spend the morning with Urshla. So we headed back to the mall.

As we drove to the mall, I quietly wept as I felt the pain of knowing I would soon be leaving Urshla. She noticed a tear as it rolled from under my sunglasses and affectionately stroked my arm and spoke love words.

I sensed some frustration in Urshla because our plans were interrupted by Kelly's call. Urshla still hoped to spend some time with me after seeing to Shan's needs. We met Kelly, who was in a tearing hurry to get his boys to his mother's and then onto work. Shan was feeling his tension.
I helped transfer the baby capsule from the Manning's car to Urshla's. Shan was struggling with movement because of the wound from her c-section. I took Ciorstaidh from her and buckled the baby into the capsule. On the return to Urshla's home, we called into a SPAR so Urshla could buy some lunch items.

Barbequing boerworst

Shan and I waited in the car, while Urshla shopped. I would've liked to go with Urshla, but felt Shan would be better in the air-conditioned car and safer with her baby, while I sat with her. We chatted and I found in her a quiet, tender disposition, that I felt could easily be taken advantage of. I was also conscious that I may be the man who could take Urshla away from her.

Parking attendant

While waiting, I was again fascinated by the jobs people have. There was a young woman cooking boerworst under an outside stall, while a man attended to people's car parking.
Urshla returned and we went to another store where she knew of a bigger range of gift wrapping. Urshla finished her shopping and we headed home.

Shan settled into the lounge, oblivious that her presence had thrown Urshla's plans into chaos. Urshla expressed her frustration quietly to me. I assured her it was God's doing and it didn't matter. Urshla vented her frustration by bustling around the kitchen, wiping the benches, washing up and beginning to prepare lunch for her family. I tried to put my arms around her for some comfort, but her consciousness of showing affection in front of her family, prevented her. I could see her stress building.
Shan also wanted a lift into PMB to register for family assistance, for maternity leave.

Meanwhile, Michele and Ntsali planned to take advantage of our trip to Durban. They wanted to look around Gateway plaza in Durban, while Urshla drove me to the airport. She became quite annoyed because it was a further imposition. Our plans were completely squeezed out by attending to the needs of others.

I busied myself with fixing the trim on the edge of the internal step. All that was needed, was a hacksaw to cut the trim and glue to fix it in place, both items purchased earlier. The job was quick and relatively simple. Urshla quickly scooped up the broken pieces and off-cut trim and threw them into her bin quite vigorously. No clutter for this woman!

The morning advanced with trivial activity with little purpose or intent, and time slipped away. I uploaded all my camera's photos onto Urshla's computer and download Picasa. Picasa searches a computer's hard drive for all photos. Urshla was embarrassed that it would find pictures of her in a bathing costume. I teased her that I wanted to see them. She sat on my knees and tried to wrest the computer away from me. We played like a couple of teenagers, but eventually I let her take the computer for fear of breaking it.
It was obvious that our planned outing together was not going to happen. The mall trip to buy gifts was as close to an outing as we could hope for.

Shantel Manning

The women busied themselves with lunch preparation and setting the table. We settled down for a lovely lunch of salad, while the edge-trim glue dried.

Soon after lunch, I packed the final articles into my case. We bundled everything into Urshla's car; my luggage, Shan held Ciorstaidh, while Michele and Ntsali somehow squeezed into the remaining space. I was very unhappy with Shan holding the baby without a restraint. There wasn't much of an option without running us late. It was very tight and it was time to leave.
Our intention was to travel to Durban after transporting Shan into PMB. PMB traffic was very busy and we dodged cars looking for the government office. We swung into a vacant spot like in a movie, right outside the office. I held Ciorstaidh while Shan gingerly hauled herself out of the car. We kissed goodbye and I passed her baby to her. The crowded office swallowed her up.

We plunged back into the PMB traffic and wrestled our way to the motorway. It was now mid afternoon and we were beginning to feel pressured to get to the airport. The motorway traffic was busy too but flowing steadily until we entered the western edge of Durban. Traffic clogged the motorway and we slowed to walking pace. Looking ahead, it was congested as far as we could see. Our hearts sank and we wondered how we would ever make it to the airport. I could see Urshla's stress levels rise again and we still had to drop Michele and Ntsali at Gateway. I tried to stay calm, because any stress I felt would only pressure Urshla more.
We checked the time and figured we still had enough time to reach the airport. Our idea was to spend  time at the airport saying a lingering farewell. Nearly 45 minutes passed. We reached the exit to Gateway and slipped into the lane.
While transiting the exit lane, a light truck tore up very close on our left, sounded its horn and caused Urshla such a fright, that she jammed on the brakes. It was just as well or there would certainly have been a crash. My passenger window was level with the driver's window of the truck. I wound my window and said, "Sorry mate!" and smiled as friendly as I could. The driver didn't seem too perturbed, but I stroked Urshla's arm to settle her nerves and told her what a fine job she was doing of negotiating the busyness of Durban. It was true. Under the circumstances, she did very well and I marvelled at God's safe keeping of us.

We found the exit to Gateway and pulled into a space outside the plaza. It wasn't a designated parking spot, so Michele, Ntsali and I leaped out of the car. We said quick goodbyes to each other and I jumped back in the car. Michele and Ntsali melted into the plaza and we sped back toward the motorway.

We followed the GPS to the appropriate airport exit. All the while, I could sense Urshla's tension rising. Mine was too, but I remained calm for her sake and quietly prayed that God would keep us for the final leg.
Somehow, we were in the wrong lane to turn and the lights changed. We had to proceed straight ahead so that we would find an exit and turn back toward the motorway. From an overpass, I could see that the Durban motorway was bumper to bumper. There was about 15km still to travel to the airport.

We drove in what we felt was the wrong direction for many kilometers until we came to a suitable exit. We pulled into a petrol station/garage and asked the best way to the airport. A security guy gave us directions which didn't seem to make sense, so we headed the way he indicated. We didn't travel very far before realizing his directions were taking us the wrong way.
We turned into another petrol garage and were given further directions. This time we came to an intersection that sign-posted the airport to our right. It's hard to describe the sense of relief to know we were back on track.
At the sight of the sign, Urshla broke down from relief and began to cry. I put my arm around her and kissed her tears. I told her what a fantastic job she was doing under pressure. I assured her, that God had a plan for us, even if I missed the flight. We were in his hands and no matter what, it would all work out well.

King Shaka Airport

And it did, the road that led to the airport was almost traffic free. We had an easy run that took us to King Shaka airport. We came at the entrance from a different direction from the one we exited a little over a week ago. There were roadworks too which seemed crazy for a Friday afternoon.

With a great sense of relief, we parked the car and walked quickly into the terminal. We went up a level to confirm my flight times and check-in my luggage. We retraced our steps down a level and sat for a while in the food court where we met for the first time. It only seemed like a couple of days, yet so much had happened.
It hardly seemed like anytime before we had to part. In all the stress and busyness, we hadn't had a chance to say goodbye. There wasn't even time for a quick meal. I ordered from a menu, but service was slow and cancelled the order. I grabbed my pack and Urshla came with me to the security gate. I tried to kiss her goodbye but again her self-consciousness didn't give her liberty, so it was just a quick peck, without an embrace and I stepped into the queue. Passing through security, I turned to see Urshla waving goodbye. I returned the wave and dashed for the departure lounge.

In the rush and lost plans, we'd felt disappointment, stress, pressure and irritation with the way the day unfolded. We felt that our parting was wholly unsatisfactory. But we acknowledged too, that it was God's hand that directed our day. We had no time to contemplate our separation and to a degree, did not experience the pain of parting. It had been a day full of jumbled affairs, much over which we had no control.

I caught the plane on time, even though it was a final call. After arriving in Johannesburg, I called Urshla . We chatted for a few minutes with the credit I had left on my phone. The conversation was cut short, but not before we had a chance to share how we loved each other. We looked forward to the time that we would meet again.

The return flight to Australia was easier than the forward leg because of a stop over in Perth. I slept well on the plane, using the time in Perth to write some entries into my diary, some of which now appear on these pages. A direct flight to Brisbane was a mercy because another connecting flight would've made the trip unnecessarily long.
By the time the flight arrived in Brisbane, my Blackberry battery was exhausted. Sue had arranged to pick me up. I waited for about 20mins before returning to the terminal to plug my phone into a charger. She was waiting for my call, so she collected me late, slightly irritated because I couldn't contact her.

A bit after midnight, we stopped in at MacDonalds Jindalee for a coffee and cake. Sue was very eager to hear the outcome of my trip and time with Urshla. Sometime after 3am, we left MacDonalds, after I'd emptied myself of all that had transpired in the whirlwind days just passed.

What lay ahead I didn't know. But God does and I trust him to show us, if marriage is part of his eternal plan.

I love Urshla very much. The week with her, was evidence that  the affection we had for each other online is real. In almost every respect, there was great compatibility in our attitudes, our outlook, our love of the Lord. We resolved differences affectionately with a desire for each other's happiness. We enjoyed each other's company very much. We laughed, cried, prayed and loved together. It would be my great privilege to have Urshla as a godly wife and life companion. I concluded, that by God's leading, our first meeting was an outstanding success.