The jumbled way home

Friday, 2nd December, 2011

Urshla and I planned to spend more time together, by visiting a wild life reserve or some other place nearby PMB. It was my last day in South Africa and the time left was very precious.
I packed my belongings at Jason's and had breakfast with them. We said our goodbyes. I couldn't express to them enough how grateful I was for their hospitality. We promised to keep in touch because I'd come to know them as a very gracious Christian family. God showed me that He works in His people, where ever His Word lives in their hearts.
Their daughter Lisa had given up her room for me, even though I came in late most nights and was not a big part of the life of the family. The Jason's made me feel very welcome and were interested in me, as I was in them. Both Hugh and Helene are wonderful hosts, knowing how to use their home for the care and comfort of others.

Hilltop Office girls

From Jason's, we called into the Hilltop office to meet Mandy Wolfaard and farewell the girls we met earlier in the week. From there, we made a trip to the mall for a cup of coffee.
One of Urshla's items on her Christian Cafe profile was a statement of where she would like to go for a first meeting with a man. It was something we wanted to do, as a fun milestone because it was part of how we met.
At Mug and Bean, we had our coffee and ticked the item off Urshla's list of accomplishments, even though it wasn't our first meeting. We chatted happily and she showed me a restaurant operated by a nephew and the success it was enjoying.

After coffee, Urshla stopped and had friendly words with people she knew, and there were quite a few. She bought food items, while I went to a hardware for a hand tool and glue.

Urshla wanted to buy Clara and Sandy a gift while at the mall. I helped her to choose African beads for my girls, although Urshla knew instinctively about the tastes of young women.
She looked around for some gift wrapping for the beads and Sue's plate, but she wasn't satisfied with the stock available in the store. She said we would call into another store that had what she was looking for. After that, we returned home.

Ciorstaidh

In the meantime, Kelly rang to say he was dropping his boys off at his mother's, and could Urshla meet them at the mall carpark to pick up Shan? They didn't want to expose Ciorstaidh to mall bacteria at such a young age. Shan didn't want to go her to mother-in-law's and asked if she could spend the morning with Urshla. So we headed back to the mall.

As we drove to the mall, I quietly wept as I felt the pain of knowing I would soon be leaving Urshla. She noticed a tear as it rolled from under my sunglasses and affectionately stroked my arm and spoke love words.

I sensed some frustration in Urshla because our plans were interrupted by Kelly's call. Urshla still hoped to spend some time with me after seeing to Shan's needs. We met Kelly, who was in a tearing hurry to get his boys to his mother's and then onto work. Shan was feeling his tension.
I helped transfer the baby capsule from the Manning's car to Urshla's. Shan was struggling with movement because of the wound from her c-section. I took Ciorstaidh from her and buckled the baby into the capsule. On the return to Urshla's home, we called into a SPAR so Urshla could buy some lunch items.

Barbequing boerworst

Shan and I waited in the car, while Urshla shopped. I would've liked to go with Urshla, but felt Shan would be better in the air-conditioned car and safer with her baby, while I sat with her. We chatted and I found in her a quiet, tender disposition, that I felt could easily be taken advantage of. I was also conscious that I may be the man who could take Urshla away from her.

Parking attendant

While waiting, I was again fascinated by the jobs people have. There was a young woman cooking boerworst under an outside stall, while a man attended to people's car parking.
Urshla returned and we went to another store where she knew of a bigger range of gift wrapping. Urshla finished her shopping and we headed home.

Shan settled into the lounge, oblivious that her presence had thrown Urshla's plans into chaos. Urshla expressed her frustration quietly to me. I assured her it was God's doing and it didn't matter. Urshla vented her frustration by bustling around the kitchen, wiping the benches, washing up and beginning to prepare lunch for her family. I tried to put my arms around her for some comfort, but her consciousness of showing affection in front of her family, prevented her. I could see her stress building.
Shan also wanted a lift into PMB to register for family assistance, for maternity leave.

Meanwhile, Michele and Ntsali planned to take advantage of our trip to Durban. They wanted to look around Gateway plaza in Durban, while Urshla drove me to the airport. She became quite annoyed because it was a further imposition. Our plans were completely squeezed out by attending to the needs of others.

I busied myself with fixing the trim on the edge of the internal step. All that was needed, was a hacksaw to cut the trim and glue to fix it in place, both items purchased earlier. The job was quick and relatively simple. Urshla quickly scooped up the broken pieces and off-cut trim and threw them into her bin quite vigorously. No clutter for this woman!

The morning advanced with trivial activity with little purpose or intent, and time slipped away. I uploaded all my camera's photos onto Urshla's computer and download Picasa. Picasa searches a computer's hard drive for all photos. Urshla was embarrassed that it would find pictures of her in a bathing costume. I teased her that I wanted to see them. She sat on my knees and tried to wrest the computer away from me. We played like a couple of teenagers, but eventually I let her take the computer for fear of breaking it.
It was obvious that our planned outing together was not going to happen. The mall trip to buy gifts was as close to an outing as we could hope for.

Shantel Manning

The women busied themselves with lunch preparation and setting the table. We settled down for a lovely lunch of salad, while the edge-trim glue dried.

Soon after lunch, I packed the final articles into my case. We bundled everything into Urshla's car; my luggage, Shan held Ciorstaidh, while Michele and Ntsali somehow squeezed into the remaining space. I was very unhappy with Shan holding the baby without a restraint. There wasn't much of an option without running us late. It was very tight and it was time to leave.
Our intention was to travel to Durban after transporting Shan into PMB. PMB traffic was very busy and we dodged cars looking for the government office. We swung into a vacant spot like in a movie, right outside the office. I held Ciorstaidh while Shan gingerly hauled herself out of the car. We kissed goodbye and I passed her baby to her. The crowded office swallowed her up.

We plunged back into the PMB traffic and wrestled our way to the motorway. It was now mid afternoon and we were beginning to feel pressured to get to the airport. The motorway traffic was busy too but flowing steadily until we entered the western edge of Durban. Traffic clogged the motorway and we slowed to walking pace. Looking ahead, it was congested as far as we could see. Our hearts sank and we wondered how we would ever make it to the airport. I could see Urshla's stress levels rise again and we still had to drop Michele and Ntsali at Gateway. I tried to stay calm, because any stress I felt would only pressure Urshla more.
We checked the time and figured we still had enough time to reach the airport. Our idea was to spend  time at the airport saying a lingering farewell. Nearly 45 minutes passed. We reached the exit to Gateway and slipped into the lane.
While transiting the exit lane, a light truck tore up very close on our left, sounded its horn and caused Urshla such a fright, that she jammed on the brakes. It was just as well or there would certainly have been a crash. My passenger window was level with the driver's window of the truck. I wound my window and said, "Sorry mate!" and smiled as friendly as I could. The driver didn't seem too perturbed, but I stroked Urshla's arm to settle her nerves and told her what a fine job she was doing of negotiating the busyness of Durban. It was true. Under the circumstances, she did very well and I marvelled at God's safe keeping of us.

We found the exit to Gateway and pulled into a space outside the plaza. It wasn't a designated parking spot, so Michele, Ntsali and I leaped out of the car. We said quick goodbyes to each other and I jumped back in the car. Michele and Ntsali melted into the plaza and we sped back toward the motorway.

We followed the GPS to the appropriate airport exit. All the while, I could sense Urshla's tension rising. Mine was too, but I remained calm for her sake and quietly prayed that God would keep us for the final leg.
Somehow, we were in the wrong lane to turn and the lights changed. We had to proceed straight ahead so that we would find an exit and turn back toward the motorway. From an overpass, I could see that the Durban motorway was bumper to bumper. There was about 15km still to travel to the airport.

We drove in what we felt was the wrong direction for many kilometers until we came to a suitable exit. We pulled into a petrol station/garage and asked the best way to the airport. A security guy gave us directions which didn't seem to make sense, so we headed the way he indicated. We didn't travel very far before realizing his directions were taking us the wrong way.
We turned into another petrol garage and were given further directions. This time we came to an intersection that sign-posted the airport to our right. It's hard to describe the sense of relief to know we were back on track.
At the sight of the sign, Urshla broke down from relief and began to cry. I put my arm around her and kissed her tears. I told her what a fantastic job she was doing under pressure. I assured her, that God had a plan for us, even if I missed the flight. We were in his hands and no matter what, it would all work out well.

King Shaka Airport

And it did, the road that led to the airport was almost traffic free. We had an easy run that took us to King Shaka airport. We came at the entrance from a different direction from the one we exited a little over a week ago. There were roadworks too which seemed crazy for a Friday afternoon.

With a great sense of relief, we parked the car and walked quickly into the terminal. We went up a level to confirm my flight times and check-in my luggage. We retraced our steps down a level and sat for a while in the food court where we met for the first time. It only seemed like a couple of days, yet so much had happened.
It hardly seemed like anytime before we had to part. In all the stress and busyness, we hadn't had a chance to say goodbye. There wasn't even time for a quick meal. I ordered from a menu, but service was slow and cancelled the order. I grabbed my pack and Urshla came with me to the security gate. I tried to kiss her goodbye but again her self-consciousness didn't give her liberty, so it was just a quick peck, without an embrace and I stepped into the queue. Passing through security, I turned to see Urshla waving goodbye. I returned the wave and dashed for the departure lounge.

In the rush and lost plans, we'd felt disappointment, stress, pressure and irritation with the way the day unfolded. We felt that our parting was wholly unsatisfactory. But we acknowledged too, that it was God's hand that directed our day. We had no time to contemplate our separation and to a degree, did not experience the pain of parting. It had been a day full of jumbled affairs, much over which we had no control.

I caught the plane on time, even though it was a final call. After arriving in Johannesburg, I called Urshla . We chatted for a few minutes with the credit I had left on my phone. The conversation was cut short, but not before we had a chance to share how we loved each other. We looked forward to the time that we would meet again.

The return flight to Australia was easier than the forward leg because of a stop over in Perth. I slept well on the plane, using the time in Perth to write some entries into my diary, some of which now appear on these pages. A direct flight to Brisbane was a mercy because another connecting flight would've made the trip unnecessarily long.
By the time the flight arrived in Brisbane, my Blackberry battery was exhausted. Sue had arranged to pick me up. I waited for about 20mins before returning to the terminal to plug my phone into a charger. She was waiting for my call, so she collected me late, slightly irritated because I couldn't contact her.

A bit after midnight, we stopped in at MacDonalds Jindalee for a coffee and cake. Sue was very eager to hear the outcome of my trip and time with Urshla. Sometime after 3am, we left MacDonalds, after I'd emptied myself of all that had transpired in the whirlwind days just passed.

What lay ahead I didn't know. But God does and I trust him to show us, if marriage is part of his eternal plan.

I love Urshla very much. The week with her, was evidence that  the affection we had for each other online is real. In almost every respect, there was great compatibility in our attitudes, our outlook, our love of the Lord. We resolved differences affectionately with a desire for each other's happiness. We enjoyed each other's company very much. We laughed, cried, prayed and loved together. It would be my great privilege to have Urshla as a godly wife and life companion. I concluded, that by God's leading, our first meeting was an outstanding success.

A dam good afternoon!

Thursday, 1st December 2011

Today, Urshla indicated that we were to enjoy a picnic together. She was to pick me up from the Jason's at 8:30am.
Dressed and ready to go, I waited, and waited, until 11:30am. After a busy and somewhat hectic schedule, it was actually quite nice to sit by the pool and relax for a time. I wrote a few thoughts in the diary I'd begun and phoned a couple of times to find out if there was hold up, but there was no answer on either the home or cell phone. So I just sat and pondered if I could cope with the delays; if this was to be our future together. The buzzer on the security gate signalled that she had finally arrived.

We called into a supermarket to buy extra food for the picnic. Urshla kindly deferred to me for the type of food I would enjoy eating. We drove to Urshla's home and packed a few picnic things. Her chosen picnic spot was the Albert Falls Dam, the water supply for PMB in the hills above PMB.

Shanty town

As we drove up to the dam, Urshla pointed out a district occupied by the Indian population and commented on their style of living.
Further on, we passed a district of adobe huts, scattered recklessly across a hillside and shallow valley. It was obviously the home to thousands of black South Africans living a third world existence in the midst of first world affluence. What a country of contrasts! We stopped to take photos. I was fascinated that people could live relatively primitively and yet own a TV. There were TV antennas on almost every home.

Nearby was the entrance to the dam reserve. Like other complexes open to the public, a guard house prevented our entrance. The entry fee was R55 for direct debit or R65 for cash. I asked about the difference. The black girl at the ticket counter said cash made them a target for robbers. Already in as many months, the girl had been robbed at gunpoint three times. And she continued to work there!
In Australia, she would've been offered trauma councelling and a transfer to a new location. Or quit the job. Another contrast of expectations in a society with such a vast divide between the haves and have nots.

Ibuck

The day was overcast and threatening showers, but we chose to enjoy the peace of the location anyway. The road passed by a very large fenced enclosure with African animals roaming inside. There were gazelles, zebra and other beasts that I didn't recognize.

We parked near a small, thatched picnic shelter and spread ourselves out to enjoy the meal prepared by Urshla. We ate under the shelter as the rain began to settle in. It was very peaceful looking out across the dam, watching the weather and the few other visitors to the reserve.
I thoroughly enjoyed Urshla's company and we talked about whatever came to mind. We laughed and were playful and full of being alone together.
The rain started to fall heavier so we sheltered in her car. We continued our fun and chatter, listening to music that Urshla had in a CD pack. Sitting in a car while on a picnic isn't much fun, but we didn't notice and were loving the opportunity that I'd come so far to discover.
I'd been struggling with a painful back spasm and Urshla at one stage, rubbed cream into the affected area. It felt good and seemed to ease the pain a little. I knew I loved her and wanted so many more days like this one. We kissed a little but only with affection, without passion.We shared a devotion from Ephesians and prayed about mutual matters, committing ourselves into God's care.
All we seemed to want, was to make each other happy. It was succeeding for me.

Albert Falls Dam

The afternoon passed easily and very pleasantly. Later the sun poked its face from behind the clouds and we took a stroll along the road, passing zebras grazing on the dam shore, seeing brightly coloured birds twittering about in rushes near a water hole. We held hands and held each other. We wanted the day to last longer but the sun was sinking into the horizon. We planned to have a special dinner later. The afternoon together was a special event, one that I hope will bring many fond memories for years to come.

Because of the rain, the air was quite sticky and arriving back at Urshla's, we both needed a wash. I had a bath and felt refreshed. My good shirt needed ironing, and Urshla kindly pressed it for me.

Urshla had booked a table at Butcher Brothers in downtown PMB. I promised to take her for a meal, as a token of my appreciation for all she'd organised to make my time in South Africa so successful. We said we'd step it up a bit, and dress up for the occasion we did. After my bath and dressing, I dozed on the couch while Urshla readied herself. After some time, I wondered at the delay, so Michele offered to see where her mother was up to. She called out, "there's a good looking man out here waiting for you".
Shortly after, Urshla appeared looking gorgeous in a long, deep pink, sleeveless evening dress. I gasped again at how lovely Urshla could look with some polish.

I drove to Butcher Brothers and we were shown to our table. It's a pleasant restaurant without being too classy, with a relaxed atmosphere. We were probably the best dressed couple there, but we wanted to be. This was a special night for us both. Tomorrow, I would be returning home, home without Urshla.

Dining, Butcher Brothers

Urshla is a tee-totaller but for the occasion, we ordered a bubbly white wine. Urshla was concerned that it would make her feel light-headed, but I assured her that one or two glasses would have no effect.
I ordered a rack of lamb and Urshla had a seafood dish. Both were delicious and beautifully cooked and presented.
We talked about our week and our plans for the future. We agreed that the week's outcome was better than hoped. We both felt we had something to look forward to as our relationship developed. I could hardly believe, that firstly I was in South Africa and that the woman I'd grown to love online, was all I could wish for. We'd prayed about these things together and it seemed that our prayers were being answered beyond our hopes. God is good and faithful in all things. My love for Urshla grew, the more I discovered of her.

I'd purchased a gift of a gold chain and Australian opal pendant as an expression of my affection for Urshla. She allowed me to place it around her neck, in full view of anyone who might be watching. I didn't care; I didn't know anyone there and thought it would give someone something to talk about, if they knew Urshla.

The meal finished, Urshla took me back to the Jason's home. We settled onto their loungeroom couch and held hands and talked some more. Tomorrow, I would be flying home. This was our last night together, maybe forever. We didn't know. I felt quietly confident that we would see each other again. I was determined by God's grace, that it would be so. Having become so attached to Urshla, it would not be easy to leave her.
After such a wonderful day of having her to myself, and thoroughly enjoying each other's company, I was again full of fondness for her. We were soon kissing passionately on the Jason's couch, Urshla so willing to show her love, and me desiring to give her mine. We thrilled at the intensity of our desire for each other. I wanted all of this lovely woman and I sensed she wanted a big piece of me too. I embraced and held her tightly to me, feeling the response of her body to our closeness. The pleasure was delicious and I wanted to eat all of her.

After a while, I felt a nagging pull of conscience, that it was inappropriate to press further in our passion. We paused and began to talk again, about a future plan for Urshla to travel to Australia.
I found in my travel wallet, a few hundred rand for Urshla to buy Helene a gift for her kind hospitality. I left her about AUD100 for visit to Australia. It was also a token of my commitment to see her again some day.
Urshla left for home soon after, with a plan that tomorrow we would spend more time alone together, before making tracks to Durban.

Next: The jumbled way home

Mannings after a second half

Wednesday, 31 November 2011

After enjoying afternoon tea on the lawns of the Drakensburg school and demonstrations by the choir buskers, the second half of the performance began.

If the first half was exhilarating, the performance that followed was truly breathtaking. The choir treated the audience to an hour or so of traditional African music, with heavy emphasis on rhythm by drums. They danced the gum-boot dance, a routine full of leaping, stamping, clapping and gum-boot slapping. It was a heart-pumping spectacle.
Another segment, was cleverly choreographed to simulate the approach of night. The lights were lowered into darkness and the boys made sounds of clicking, wooing and cries of the night. They transported the audience into the night with them, as day turned to darkness and the night creatures crept out. The sounds turned to the patter of light rain then to flashes of lightning and the crashing of thunder. In the darkness, the lightning showed the boys jumping heavily on the stage to create the sound of thunder and their voices, the roar of torrential rain. The sound of rain passed, followed by the croaking and singing of many frogs. The experience was wonderful, all in total darkness.

It was a fantastic way to spend an afternoon and share with Urshla and the girls. We came away from Drakensburg, full of chatter and reflections on the afternoon's outing. I was on quite a high, with adrenaline still coursing through my veins.

The route of our return to PMB was via a road that passed through black villages. The houses were mostly adobe with corrugated iron roofs, held down on many dwellings with large stones. At that time of day, many people walked  beside the road on their way home, from who knows where, probably some from domestic duties and factory workers. A steady line of kombis passed us in the opposite direction. The GPS directed us on this road until we reached the motorway again, just west of the Mooi River toll booths.

We travelled about an hour and turned off the motorway toward Hilton, and after a detour along back tracks and strange turns, arrived at the Mannings' home.

Urshla's sister Shantel, is married to Kelly and they have two boys and baby girl. Kelly and Shan had not long moved into the house, which they apparently bought at a bargain price for the area. It includes a large parcel of ground that they hope to develop into a beautiful garden. The house is adequate for the time being but they hope to develop that too into a home of their liking.

Christian, Coirstaidh, Jesse

 Kelly was away from the home when we arrived, and Michele and Urshla connected with Shan and the boys. Christian and Jesse are the usual boys for their ages, boisterous and bouncy but nice boys as well. Jesse was having a period where he separated himself from his mother because of the new baby. He would not give affection or conversation to her, but Shan wasn't too concerned and knew it was an adjustment he was going through.

Because of the need for extra income, Shan plans to return to work when the baby is older. Kelly bought a motorbike to use as a commuter so Shan could use the car to transport herself and boys to work and school.
Now any sniff of a motorbike, has me interested right away. Urshla mentioned it to me in passing before travelling to South Africa, and I secretly plotted to get me a ride with Urshla on the bike. Almost as soon as Kelly arrived home, he wanted to show me his bike. And I wanted to see it! He also offered me a ride on the bike, which is exactly what I was waiting for. Shan rustled around and found a jacket for Urshla and put on my coat. Kelly had two helmets so we were set.
After some initial coughing and false starts, the bike ran and idled smoothly. And a quick circuit up the street to familiarize myself with the bike, and I was ready to take Urshla for a spin.
She climbed on behind me, having had experience on a bike with a friend from her teenage years; quite a while ago.
We didn't travel far, just a few blocks around the Manning's suburb. It was lovely to have her so close, tucked into my back. We went up a dead end street and performed a few weaves on the road. It unnerved Urshla and she grabbed fistfuls of my gut flesh to let me know she didn't feel secure. She felt I was a dare-devil, when really we were in no danger. I got the message though, and rode in a straight line after that. Another day and another time I could've gone much further and enjoyed more of the closeness of my love.
My only regret is that I neglected to take photos of our brief adventure. 

We returned to the Manning's where Kelly had pizza waiting for us. I had a gift ready for the boys. I gave them a DVD of the Wiggles and a CD of Australian songs. I bought an Australian motorbike magazine for Kelly too, which he seemed to appreciate. I've since learned that the boys have really taken to the Wiggles and nearly drive Kelly mad with demands to watch the DVD over and over.

We drove back down the motorway and arrived at the Jason's home around 10:30pm. Because I was driving, I climbed out and passed Urshla at the back of the car. I tried to hold and kiss her, but she was reluctant to show affection in front of Michele, even though we were behind the car.

It had been another remarkable day, full of new and exciting experiences for us all.

Next: A dam good day!