27th November 2011
Today was Sunday. Our plan was to attend church together, not far from Breakers Resort. I'd searched the Internet for churches that would be similar to what I was familiar with. Being Presbyterian, it seemed like a good place to start but there seemed to be no churches that were faithful to the Presbyterian tradition. I found Christ Church at Umphlanga so chose to go there. It made the claims I was looking for on their website. It mentioned that the church was affiliated with the Anglican tradition.
We began the day with a delicious breakfast of cereals and fruit with juice, coffee and tea. The girls did a great job of preparing for our weekend away. I was happy to be the hands and feet, hauling and packing things into the Polo's tiny boot. It all fitted remarkably well.
We set the GPS for the Christ Church address and followed the woman's voice. Christ Church was close by Gateway and located next to a Hindu temple and across a creek from a large mosque. The first thing I noticed was the quality of the cars in the car park and the number of whites. It seemed to be an affluent church membership.
We were a few minutes later than the 9.30am start, but easily found an empty row. The singing was led by a band and overhead slides. A woman read sections from the Bible. Grant Retief is the pastor and preached a sermon as part of a series about Knowing God. His sermon was based on the doctrine of the Trinity and what it meant to be in a relationship with God. It was Calvinistic and exegetical and he handled the topic very well. The order of service was familiar to me but quite foreign to Urshla and Michele.
Afterwards, we stayed for coffee and a biscuit. I was a little disappointed that an effort to welcome us was a little slow in coming, but someone eventually said hello. Michele commented that the preaching was lifted out of the Word without any extraneous thought, but it wasn't a place where she would like to worship long term. I understood what she meant. If you're not accustomed to that style or have not grown up with it, it would seem foreign.
We returned to Breakers and relaxed before enjoying a light lunch. The day had turned very windy and cool, with the clouds scudding across the sky and light rain falling at times. It was a good day to be inside, listening to the wind trying to blow the windows in. Being on the 11th floor, we had a great view of the beach and waves whipped up by the sea gales. The water looked brown and murky. There was a distinct line of brown, beyond which ships lay at anchor in Durban harbour, all with their bows facing the wind. Roger yesterday commented, that if the ships are lined up, the wind is steady. If they are randomly facing the water, the weather is unsettled. It looked like rain was on the way.
After lunch, we sat and relaxed in the unit and Josh visited Michele again. They chatted for a long time and seemed to have plenty to catch up on. Urshla and I sat on the couch and talked quietly about different things. She is so easy to talk with and she tells me about her family and friends and little incidents that happen and comments about people's lives. Her interest in all her network connections, is a constant source of fascination to me. Urshla paints such word pictures that it's easy to visualize her relationships and contacts, so that when I meet the people, I feel I know quite a bit about them already. She contacted her sister-in-law who we hoped to visit later.
I had a rest in the afternoon, and caught up on some much needed sleep. Since stepping off the plane, the time in South Africa was full of activity. It seemed we'd hardly had a chance for a good rest, but as I said to Urshla, I didn't go to Africa to sleep. Sleep could wait till I returned home.
The afternoon slipped by effortlessly and I can't really remember doing much. It was the kind of sleepy Sunday afternoon I enjoy. I liked being with Urshla and her family, and I was made to feel very comfortable. Michele was always inclusive of me and deferred to me on many occasions. She is a gracious young woman, very down to earth and humble.
We had dinner and then Urshla and I went to see Linda, her sister-in-law. It was now raining quite heavily. Thunder and lightning flashed and crashed at intervals.
Linda and Urshla are very close and good friends. Urshla's brother Stewart, Linda's late husband, died of cancer 10 years earlier. Linda, as well as being a widow, is a carrier of HIV. It was delightful to meet her and her son Kurt. Linda gave me a warm welcoming kiss. We sat in the lounge of their 100 year old rented cottage and enjoyed some relaxed and pleasant conversation. Linda is very excited for Urshla that she has found a new friendship in me.
All the people that Urshla introduced me to, assumed that Urshla had found the man she would marry. We had to remind them that we were still finding our way in our relationship.
I personally felt, that God had led me to a lovely lady who I could love and marry. But I was constantly cautious and reminded myself, that there was more to be considered than simply following my feelings.
Linda mentioned how happy she was for Urshla. Urshla sat next to me, her arm wrapped in mine and looked very happy to be enjoying the company of her friend and sitting with me. Linda said that seeing Urshla so happy, gave her hope that she too might find love again. Urshla told our story of how we met on Chrsitian Cafe and the events that led to me travelling to South Africa. I nearly opened my mouth to suggest that Linda join Cafe, but thought better of it. A lady with HIV has more factors to weigh up when putting herself on an online dating site, than someone without a disease. It would take the right man to accept a lady with a disease so stigmatised, and the consequences for him. I thought Linda a beautiful Christian lady, humble and sensible with a great trust in the faithfulness of God, despite what God had given her to bear.
Visiting Linda, was one of the many highlights of the week. Linda hugged and kissed us warmly goodbye and we dashed to the car in the midst of a very heavy downpour. Urshla asked me to drive back to Breakers and we reflected on our visit as we drove in the pouring rain. I so loved this woman who had opened herself so willingly to me. Urshla had already generously shared so much, that my heart swelled with affection for her.
Later Urshla and Michele went to the bus terminal to collect Ntsali, a
university friend of Michele's. They were so happy to see each other again and quickly fell into the ways of a good friendship.
While they caught up and reconnected, I asked Urshla to come and sit with me in my room. I was full of fondness for her that night and wanted to spend time alone with her. I was glad that Michele and Ntsali had each other. It was a chance to spend time with my love. We sat on the couch together, with our feet on the table and talked and laughed and reflected on the weekend so far. We both agreed that it had turned out a lovely couple of days and already we knew that our connection was something special.
I asked Urshla to put her feet on my lap so that I could caress and massage her feet. She told me that no one had ever massaged her feet before. She said how nice it felt and enjoyed the attention and the soothing sensation it gave. For me, it was as close as I could allow myself to show her my affection and love. I'm not 20 years old anymore, but I felt young again.
As she settled, the last couple of days activity overtook her and she began to feel cold. I took a towel from the bathroom and laid it over her, to provide some warmth. It wasn't too long and she drifted into a doze. I felt like dozing too but for some reason Urshla did not feel comfortable sleeping while I was present. The warmth, the soothing massage, the weariness took her away and she slept, despite herself. After a few moments she woke with a start.
I escorted her back to her room, all 10 meters of passageway and stole a goodnight kiss. It was the most natural gesture and came automatically and something I'd wanted to do for a long time. She looked a little surprised but welcomed the kiss nonetheless. "How did that happen?" she wearily asked. "It just felt natural" I replied and she disappeared into her room.
Next: Leaving Durban
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